Today marks my one year anniversary of my move to LA from Chicago. In many ways this past year has flown by in the blink of an eye. I remember with vivid detail spending my last night in Chicago with my friends Beth and Alex, as the movers had already left with my belongings. And then my best friend Sara picking me up bright and early to take me to the airport...the tearful goodbye...boarding my plane...snapping my seat belt... waiting for my flight to depart...thinking about the new chapter in my life as I closed the chapter on the life I had built in Chicago over the last 17 years.
I knew with certainty that LA was where I was meant to be next and I followed that voice that led me here...packing up my life and saying goodbye to those I loved in search of that next adventure. I had no idea what was in store for me or just what an odyssey I would find myself on.
First there was the general getting acclimated to a new city and new surroundings. Basic things like finding grocery stores, learning to navigate from point A to point B and driving more. My brain was constantly being boggled because all of the brain patterns I had for knowing what I knew, weren't working...it was all new territory.
Then a dating relationship I was in, ended. Finding out that the guy you're seeing had gotten married and somehow forgot to tell you, usually kills a relationship. Dealing with being in a new city and this unexpected revelation was a lot to deal with all at one time. And I must say had to be one of the most shocking things I'd ever experienced in my life. What was particularly challenging was that I didn't have the support system of my friends near by. There were a lot of phone calls to friends in Chicago during those first few months in LA.
About three weeks after my move to LA, my company went through a another major reorganization and then they got rid of our CEO announcing that a new one would be taking over the company in December. It was at that point that I pretty much suspected my number would come up for being laid off...I just didn't know when that would happen. So I lived in fear for months waiting to see what would happen, as my projects dwindled more and more.
February brought a new outlook and excitement when my brother and sister- in-law welcomed a new baby into the family, my nephew Zach, who was born six weeks premature. My family never prepared for the unexpected turn of events that would transpire three weeks later, when Zach died from complications after emergency heart surgery. It was devastating and I quickly made arrangements to fly to Minnesota to be with my family for the funeral. We were all heart broken and for months it seemed like life would never be the same, there was so much sadness and grief.
I came back from the funeral to discover that my number had finally come up at work and I was laid off in the latest round of corporate reorganizations. The reorginization had actually happened the week I was with my family...they just waited to tell me until I returned. The timing was less then ideal.
There were many more calls back to Chicago friends, as there was safety and comfort in being able to be vulnerable with people who knew me and loved me no matter what. I didn't have to pretend or have anything be pretty or put together. I could be as big of a mess as I needed to be...and I will forever love and be grateful for my wide circle of friends who offered so much during that time. That pretty much ended any fears I had about losing touch or those relationships changing in any way after I moved away. I'm happy to report that those relationships are not only still intact, they are stronger then ever.
I read somewhere that there are 5 major causes of stress in life - a move, change in job situation (new job, lay-off), death, change in relationship status (breakup, marriage, etc.), and health issues. I experienced four of the five all at once. When I do something...I do it big...this time, I think I would have preferred something a little smaller.
In spite of having the most personally challenging year of my life, it was a year full of much spiritual growth and learning. I discovered a lot about myself and others.
I learned just how strong and resilient I am and in those moments when I couldn't go it alone, I learned how blessed I am to have surrounded myself with such amazing people. And God sent me many Angels in the form of the friends who have come into my life over the last year here in LA. Los Angeles is the city of Angels you know...I think I landed in the right place. My new group of friends include friends who made the move themselves from Chicago, some also new transplants from other places, college friends and others with whom I've connected with since being here. I've formed some wonderful relationships with truly amazing people and am happy to have expanded the collection of people in my life.
Removing myself from everything I knew has expanded my thinking and has enabled me to consider my life in new ways. I'm discovering that I'm much less conventional then I thought, and I've been challenging my own beliefs and the belief's of others in the process. In many ways, I've emancipated myself from the shackles of my own belief system and have begun to question and inquire into things I never considered before.
I've had the opportunity to experience things I never did in Chicago. I've found this wonderful sound healing meditation community and have connected with like minded souls, committed to higher consciousness. I've been studying with one of my favorite spiritual mentors, Marianne Williamson, attending her weekly lectures whenever possible. I've been hiking, going to the ocean, soaking up the laid back vibe. I love the conversations I get to engage in with people. I could go on and on. I still have moments of wonder about this fascinating city that I live in, the people I meet and the experiences I'm having.
What I'm most proud of accomplishing over the last year, is the birth of my Happy, Healthy and Hot course that I teach to women to end the comparison trap. I'm passionate about empowering women and the integration of mind/body/spirit working together to create a purposeful life; and have melded these two passions together. It lived in my mind as an idea for over a year and when I was laid off from my job, I had time to focus and write the course. I'm just about to finish teaching my first course and will start teaching another one in November.
This is why I came here to LA, to continue on the path I've been on for the last few years...to expand, to grow, to learn so that I can contribute to the betterment of humanity. As strange and bizarre as some of the events of last year have been, it's all been part of the journey to right here and right now. Part of the divine plan of where I'm being led and where God wants to use me. The last year has made me more compassionate and my desire to contribute has gotten stronger.
As I end my first year in LA, my parents are here visitng from Pittsburgh, and we celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary yesterday in Malibu. I look at them and am moved by what it takes to sustain a relationship over that period of time and who they are for each other. It's been great to have this milestone to celebrate...and in a few months we'll have another one. My brother and sister in law are having another baby...a girl due in December. My family once again anticipates the arrival of a new addition to the family. A new future full of many possibillities.
How do you measure a year? I measure this past year in the amount ot growth, surrendering and letting go I was willing to do, and the miracles I was willing to experience. I've also discovered that transformation isn't always easy. It has to hurt like hell for a caterpillar to become a butterfly. But in the end, isn't it worth it? Such beauty, grace and elegance emerges from the transformation.
I've been studying the Course in Miracles and one lesson has continued to stick with me...I am willing to see things differently. Lots of surreal things happened over the last year. As I was writing this blog and rethinking the events of the last year, they all seemed too strange to have really happened. I actually found myself chuckling at the absurdity of it all. I could have choosen be shaped by them but instead, I chose to learn from them. I chose to believe that it's all a part of some bigger plan at work and to see things as an opportunity, to learn, to grow, to expand, to contribute, to love.
And so, I declare my first year in LA complete. And I powerfully declare that my next year here in LA will be my best year yet; chalked full of magic, miracles and moments of sheer perfection.
Stay tuned for more adventures along the way.....
Recent Comments