What Defines Home?

What defines home?  We've heard a lot about people losing their homes over the last year due to the mortgage crisis.  Songs have been written about it. There is even a restaurant in LA called Home.

Out of curiosity, I thought I'd look up the definition of home:  What I found was this:

home  (hm)n.

1. A place where one lives; a residence.

2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household. 

        a. An environment offering security and happiness.

        b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

4. The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.

5. The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.

6. The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.

7. A headquarters; a home base.

Making my first trip back to my hometown of Pittsburgh from my new home in LA for the holidays made me start to ponder this question. It was yet another mind boggle, retraining my brain to think  newly kind of experience for me. Stepping out of old patterns and into new ones.

For 16 years, that annual holiday trip was about an hour and 20 minute flight and one time zone change.  This year it was close to a seven hour flight with a plane change in Pheonix through three time zones totalling an almost 12 hour travel day for the flight to Pittsburgh ( when you factor in the time I left for the airport and the flight delay)

Pittsburgh, while the place I grew up hasn't been home for many years.  And even when I lived there, it was this place I couldn't wait to escape from.  I always felt restless to experience life outside the Three Rivers.  I knew that life beyond where I lived was different, big, exciting and I couldn't wait to experience all of it.  I felt out of place there, like I didn't quite belong and I moved at the first chance I had...first to Washington, DC, then Chicago and now LA. 

Years later, I can appreciate Pittsburgh for what it taught me.  There is a dependability, a loyalty and a strong set of values and work ethic that is embedded in the culture and my parents instilled in me a core set of values given by that culture.  There is a knowingness about life there and about the people who come from there. I was just discussing this over lunch today with a new friend, whom I connected with, when we both discovered we were from Pittsburgh. Being from Pittsburgh is an experience in and of itself, and only people who grew up there, really get that.

Chicago isn't home for me anymore.  In fact my life there seems so far away, like it was years ago, not just months ago that I left.  It has long faded in the rear view mirror and I strangely don't have any site or connection to it anymore.  It's the friends I miss and still reach out to that I am connected to.  That hasn't changed, even though it's strange to not experience every day life with them anymore.

LA isn't quite home yet.  In fact, most days, it still feels like I'm on vacation or in a dream that I'm waiting to wake up from.  I have moments of wonder. Moments of still not believing that I really accomplished that which I had been dreaming about and planning for all of these months. And moments of upset and terror  when I have a new experience and I don't know where to turn or what do to.  Like today, when I got into a fender bender and now have no idea where to take my car for repairs.  In Chicago, I had my regular guys at Tiger Auto Body who always took good care of me. This constant not knowing admittedly freaks me out at times and my sense of wonderment and adventure goes out the window when I feel vulnerable and uncertain.

Even flying back from Pittsburgh to LA yesterday seemed strange - familiar, yet not quite familiar yet. I have only ever flown to LA from Chicago, so adding something new to the mix was odd to say the least. I found myself scanning the departure list looking for Chicago first then it would dawn on me that it's LA now.

And now I'm back and I feel like I have to familiarize myself with my new city all over again.  I'm  back into the rhythm and groove of this new life and environment after plopping myself out of it for a week.

I was really sad to leave my family yesterday.  They are my constant. That home base, my source, no matter where I go, no matter what I do.  It is because of them, that I have the wings to fly and the courage to seek out un-chartered waters.

So I would say that I define home as family and love. That love is as infinite as it is constant. And it is comforting to know that it is always there, no matter what.

 

 

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[Alyssa Dyksterhouse]

Home is where your pillow is!!